The other day I was sitting outside of a restaurant in front of Target when I heard a child crying and screaming. I looked up to see a mother and child half a parking lot away. The young child was probably about 2 years old and sitting in a shopping cart, throwing a fit. Perhaps she had just been woken up from her nap, after arriving by minivan to their destination. As I looked up, I saw the young mother standing in front of the cart, one hand on the cart while the other held her head. My senses went on alert, as I sensed a mother who had about reached her limit. I decided I wasn't going to take my eyes off this pair until I knew that the mother could get a hold of herself. Suddenly she grabbed up the little girl and swung her back into the minivan and raised up her hand and swung, twice striking the little girl, the little girl screaming even louder. The mother then slammed the door of the van shut while she calmly went to grab the shopping cart that had rolled away. I continued to watch, on edge, wondering at what point do I get involved? I don't like the fact that parents hit their children, but there is no law against it. Parents are permitted to discipline their children in whatever way they see fit, as long as they don't leave marks on the child. How can you tell from a half a parking lot away whether or not a parent may be leaving marks? Is it the height of the hand? Does it matter that her hand was raised up over her head as she swung at the small girl? Is it the virulent anger in which it is done? When do you step in?
It all ended a couple of minutes later, when the mother got the little girl back out of the minivan, now quiet and no longer screaming, and put her back into the shopping cart to now take her into the store.
So where is the line? The line between a parent's right to discipline their child, and the child's right of protection? How do you know when someone has crossed it, and it is time to step in and defend a child? Not having any children myself, I'm especially perplexed by this line. Is child abuse like obscenity, and you just "know it when you see it"?
Posts
4 comments:
With a mother that upset, I could just imagine that if you interfered, she might get violent with *you*! But I agree - there are so many times when I see awful scenes like that while shopping, and wish I could intervene. But the other thing to consider is, that mother is probably like that a lot. Would intervening once just turn her on you, or actually have an effect?
My stomach is twisting in knots just reading your post. I do have concerns about a mother that would raise her hand to slap a 2yr old for fussing and crying. However, it's a tough call with no easy answers.
Wow, that must have been tough to watch. I witnessed something similar in the past where a little boy spilled his coke, and his grandfather got up and slapped him in the face. Mind you, this was in the middle of a restaurant. I could tell quite a few people wanted to intervene, but no one did.....it was uncomfortable for everyone.
The toughest thing is not knowing the person, and what kind of parent they normally are. Even the best parent can be pushed to the brink on a really bad day, when a screaming child is the "final straw" to send them over the cliff. Was this just an otherwise "good mother" who lost it for a moment? Or is it just a glimpse into the life of this little girl? There are so many times in life when you are unsure whether or not you should step in, and hoping that you don't regret later not doing so.
Post a Comment