SPOTLIGHT: Summer and Fall at Kensington Books

 

Today I attended a Zoom with Kensington Books to see the new summer and fall line-up. Here are some of the books that you have to look forward to...

A Daughter of Fair Verona by Christina Dodd

Knives Out meets Bridgerton in Fair Verona, as New York Times bestselling author Christina Dodd kicks off a frothy, irreverent, witty new series with an irresistible premise—Romeo and Juliet’s daughter as a clever, rebellious, fiercely independent young woman in fair Verona—told from the delightfully engaging point of view of the captivating Rosie Montague herself…

"A sharp, determined heroine, a clever historical mystery, sparkling wit, a unique setting, family drama and a dash of romance.”– Amanda Quick, New York Times bestselling author of The Lady Has a Past

Once upon a time a young couple met and fell in love. You probably know that story, and how it ended ( badly). Only here’s the That’s not how it ended at all.

Romeo and Juliet are alive and well and the parents of seven kids. I’m the oldest, with the emphasis on ‘old’—a certified spinster at twenty, and happy to stay that way. It’s not easy to keep your taste for romance with parents like mine. Picture it—constant monologues, passionate declarations, fighting, making up, making out . . . it’s exhausting.

Each time they’ve presented me with a betrothal, I’ve set out to find the groom-to-be a more suitable bride. After all, someone sensible needs to stay home and manage this household. But their latest match, Duke Stephano, isn’t so easy to palm off on anyone else. The debaucher has had three previous wives—all of whom met unfortunate ends. Conscience forbids me from consigning another woman to that fate. As it turns out, I don’t have to . . .

At our betrothal ball—where, quite by accident, I meet a beautiful young man who makes me wonder if perhaps there is something to love at first sight—I stumble upon Duke Stephano with a dagger in his chest. But who killed him? His late wives’ families, his relatives, his mistress, his servants—half of Verona had motive. And when everyone around the Duke begins dying, disappearing, or descending into madness, I know I must uncover the killer . . . before death lies on me like an untimely frost.

Expected publication June 25, 2024

A Dog Called Ducky by Amanda Morgan

Secrets of Rose Briar Hall by Kelsey James

A Time for Defiance by James D. Shipman

The Eyes are the Best Part by Monika Kim

Feminist psychological horror about the making of a female serial killer from a Korean-American perspective.

Ji-won’s life tumbles into disarray in the wake of her appa’s extramarital affair and subsequent departure. Her mother, distraught. Her younger sister, hurt and confused. Her college freshman grades, failing. Her dreams, horrifying… yet enticing.

In them, Ji-won walks through bloody rooms full of eyes. Succulent blue eyes. Salivatingly blue eyes. Eyes the same shape and shade as George’s, who is Umma’s obnoxious new boyfriend. George has already overstayed his welcome in her family’s claustrophobic apartment. He brags about his puffed-up consulting job, ogles Asian waitresses while dining out, and acts condescending toward Ji-won and her sister as if he deserves all of Umma’s fawning adoration. No, George doesn’t deserve anything from her family. Ji-won will make sure of that.

For no matter how many victims accumulate around her campus or how many people she must deceive and manipulate, Ji-won’s hunger and her rage deserve to be sated.

A brilliantly inventive, subversive novel about a young woman unraveling, Monika Kim’s The Eyes Are the Best Part is a story of a family falling apart and trying to find their way back to each other, marking a bold new voice in horror that will leave readers mesmerized and craving more.

Expected publication June 25, 2024

The Deading by Nicholas Belardes

The House by the Cemetery by Lisa Childs

Where I End by Sophie White

Metal From Heaven by August Clarke

For fans of The Princess Bride and Gideon the a bloody lesbian revenge tale and political fantasy set in a glittering world transformed by industrial change – and simmering class warfare. Ichorite is progress. More durable and malleable than steel, ichorite is the lifeblood of a dawning industrial revolution. Yann I. Chauncey owns the sole means of manufacturing this valuable metal, but his workers, who risk their health and safety daily, are on strike. They demand Chauncey research the hallucinatory illness befalling them, a condition they call “being lustertouched.” Marney Honeycutt, a lustertouched child worker, stands proud at the picket line with her best friend and family. That’s when Chauncey sends in the guns. Only Marney survives the massacre. She vows bloody vengeance. A decade later, Marney is the nation’s most notorious highwayman, and Chauncey’s daughter seeks an opportune marriage. Marney’s rage and the ghosts of her past will drive her to masquerade as an aristocrat, outmaneuver powerful suitors, and win the heart of his daughter, so Marney can finally corner Chauncey and satisfy her need for revenge. But war ferments in the north, and deeper grudges are surfacing. . . H. A. Clarke’s adult fantasy debut, writing as August Clarke, Metal from Heaven is a punk-rock murder ballad tackling labor issues and radical empowerment against the relentless grind of capitalism.

Expected publication October 22, 2024

The Bitter Truth by Shanora Williams

Fleeing France by Alan Hlad

Best, First, and Last by Amy T Matthews

In this stirring, spirited, and ultimately joyful new novel from the author of Someone Else’s Bucket List, three generations of women in the same family, whose hearts have been broken in different ways, set out on a challenging journey to see one of the wonders of the world—and find themselves to be just as awe-inspiring. Perfect for fans of Josie Silver and Rebecca Serle.

When twenty-five-year-old Heather Russo breaks up with her boyfriend—again—she can’t figure out if she’s to blame or he is. Either way, she’s miserable, and working at home via Zoom meetings is only making it worse. What’s more, all the women in her family are struggling. Mom Sandy is convinced she’s wasted her life and is nursing a giant grudge against Heather’s father, whom she’s now divorcing. Grandmother Bonnie is reeling with the grief of losing her third husband, and is carrying his urn everywhere she goes, even the supermarket. The bottom has fallen out of their lives so abruptly, the trio is clinging to any handhold they can—and slowly but surely losing their grip . . .

Inspired by a friend’s adventurous grandson, and determined not to spend her 70th birthday wallowing, Bonnie is ready to take extreme measures. Even if it means dragging her beloved girls along by the hair, they’re going to hike the Incan Trail to Machu Picchu! Of course, their emotional baggage gets packed with their lightweight jackets, but as they make the trek, the women also talk, sharing stories and secrets that have been festering for far too long. With every arduous step toward the famed summit, each woman sheds some of the past and its pain, and opens up to the extraordinary possibilities of the present—and a future that just might include a new happily ever after.

Expected publication June 25, 2024 

The Cold Light of Day by Anna Lee Huber

In the Lonely Hours by Shannon Morgan

One Cursed Rose by Rebecca Zanetti

Information is power, and those who control it live like gods.

In my world,

billionaires play deadly games of insult and influence where magic is the dirtiest weapon of all. Here, even a powerful princess can be swallowed by the darkest of shadows . . .

My name is Alana Beaumont, and due to a recent tragedy, I’m the sole heir to Aquarius Social, a family business being systematically dismantled by an unseen enemy. My father’s solution is to give me in marriage and create a coalition with a competing family, so I’m torn between my thirst for revenge and my duty. Now I just have a week to finish my hunt before the wedding.

There’s nothing like an assassination attempt to cut short the best of plans—even worse is my unwanted rescue by Thorn Beathach, the Beast whose social media empire is driving Aquarius under. The richest, most ruthless of them all, he protects his realm with an iron rule: no one sees his face. When he shows himself to me, I know he’ll never let me go.

Adam may think he can lock me in his castle forever, but I’m not the docile Beauty he expects. If the Beast wants to tie me up, I’m going to take pleasure from every minute of it . . .and we’ll just see who ends up shackled.

Expected publication June 25, 2024

Bad River by Marc Cameron

Follow the Stars Home by Diane C McPhail

The Trial of Mrs. Rhinelander by Denny S Bryce

Inspired by a real-life scandal that was shocking even for the tumultuous Roaring Twenties, this captivating novel tells the story of a pioneering Black journalist, a secret interracial marriage among the New York elite, and the sensational divorce case that ignited an explosive battle over race and class—and brought together two very different women fighting for justice, legitimacy, and the futures they risked everything to shape. From Denny S. Bryce, bestselling author of Wild Women and the Blues and In the Face of the Sun.

New York, 1924. Born to English immigrants who’ve built a comfortable life, idealistic Alice Jones longs for the kind of true love her mother and father have. She believes she’s found it with Leonard “Kip” Rhinelander, the shy heir to his prominent white family’s real estate fortune. Alice too, is “white”, though she is vaguely aware of rumors that question her ancestry—gossip her parents dismiss. But when the lovers secretly wed, Kip’s parents threaten his inheritance unless he annuls the marriage. 

Devastated but determined, Alice faces overwhelming odds both legally and in the merciless court of public opinion. But there is one person who can either help her—or shatter her hopes for Reporter Marvel Cunningham. The proud daughter of an accomplished Black family, Marvel lives to chronicle social change and the Harlem Renaissance’s fiery creativity.

At first, Marvel sees Alice’s case as a tabloid sensation generated by a self-hating woman who failed to “pass.” But the deeper she investigates, the more she will recognize just how much she and Alice have in common. For Rhinelander vs. Rhinelander will bring to light stunning truths that will force both women to confront who they are, and who they can be, in a world that is all too quick to judge.

Expected publication July 23, 2024

You Have Gone Too Far by Carlene O'Connor

Echoes of Memory by Sara Driscoll

The Sorority by Nancy Bush 

Nothing Less Than Magic by Stacy Finz

When a popular marriage counselor’s own marriage falls apart, she’s forced to question her methods—and discovers the magical ingredient she’s been missing all along—in the dreamiest possible way . . .

Just one year ago, Chelsea Knight was living the life she’d always wanted. Marriage to the perfect guy, a thriving career, and a gorgeous condo overlooking San Francisco Bay. Then out of nowhere, her husband, Austin, left her. Ironic, because Chelsea fixes marriages for a living. In fact, she’s famous for her techniques. Naturally, she’s been using her expertise to win back her ex—and when he invites her for drinks, she’s sure her work has finally paid off. Until he announces he’s engaged.

Devastated, Chelsea seeks refuge in the beloved small-town lake cabin she and Austin now take turns using. When she arrives, the streets are dazzlingly decked out for Halloween, the autumn leaves are exceptionally vibrant, and the locals are especially warm and welcoming. It’s downright magical—and so is Knox Hart, a talented jack-of-all-trades who’s fixing her roof. Chelsea is instantly drawn to him—and to the simplicity of country life. Slowly, she becomes immersed in the townspeople’s problems and finds a sense of belonging—leading her to reevaluate her own path . . .

But something about the idyllic hamlet—and Knox—seems too good to be true. A trick more than a treat. And when she ultimately learns the truth, her heart is shattered. Miraculously, Austin is there to mend it. It’s everything she’d hoped for. Or is it? On the cusp of making all her dreams come true, Chelsea must find the strength to make an impossible choice . . .

When a popular marriage counselor's own marriage falls apart, she's forced to question her methods-- and discovers the magical ingredient she's been missing al along-- in the dreamiest possible way. Has to make a choice between the life she has and the life that only exists in her dreams.

Publication date July 23, 2024

Check out all of the books at Kensington Books.

Spotlight... Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez

 

Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez

Justin has a curse, and thanks to a Reddit thread, it's now all over the internet. Every woman he dates goes on to find their soul mate the second they break up. When a woman slides into his DMs with the same problem, they come up with a plan: They'll date each other and break up. Their curses will cancel each other’s out, and they’ll both go on to find the love of their lives. It’s a bonkers idea… and it just might work.

Emma hadn't planned that her next assignment as a traveling nurse would be in Minnesota, but she and her best friend agree that dating Justin is too good of an opportunity to pass up, especially when they get to rent an adorable cottage on a private island on Lake Minnetonka.

It's supposed to be a quick fling, just for the summer. But when Emma's toxic mother shows up and Justin has to assume guardianship of his three siblings, they're suddenly navigating a lot more than they expected–including catching real feelings for each other. What if this time Fate has actually brought the perfect pair together?

Format 432 pages, Paperback

Published April 2, 2024 by Forever

ISBN 9781538704431 (ISBN10: 1538704439)

Spotlight... I Cheerfully Refuse by Leif Enger

 

I Cheerfully Refuse by Leif Enger

Set in a not-too-distant America, I Cheerfully Refuse is the tale of Rainy, an aspiring musician setting sail on Lake Superior in search of his departed, deeply beloved, bookselling wife. An endearing bear of an Orphean narrator, he seeks refuge in the harbors, fogs, and remote islands of the inland sea. After encountering lunatic storms and rising corpses from the warming depths, he eventually lands to find an increasingly desperate and illiterate people, a malignant billionaire ruling class, a crumbled infrastructure, and a lawless society. As his guileless nature begins to make an inadvertent rebel of him, Rainy’s private quest for the love of his life grows into something wider and wilder, sweeping up friends and foes alike in his wake.

Format 336 pages, Hardcover

Published April 2, 2024 by Grove Press

ISBN 9780802162939 (ISBN10: 0802162932)

Spotlight Friday... The Gathering Girl by Amanda Irene Rush

The Gathering Girl by Amanda Irene Rush

When she was 12, Amanda’s best friend’s family gifted her a Christmas stocking stuffed with a carton of cigarettes. She was thrilled. The cigarettes meant she would no longer have to steal and smoke her mother’s uncool brand. And the stocking—though it didn’t have her name stitched along the top like everyone else’s—meant, for the moment at least, that she belonged. She hadn’t felt that way since before her free-spirited mother left her corporate-climbing father with 4-year-old Amanda and her older sister in tow. Before her father remarried a woman who never wanted children. Before her mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Before Amanda and her sister were left to largely fend for themselves. More than three decades later, with the death of her parents as a catalyst, Amanda began sifting through the relics of her family’s fragile past. She wondered if the chance objects she and her mother and father had held on to—a faded doodle of a girl gathering apples, broken knickknacks, worn family photos and her parents’ journals—might unravel their long-standing and tightly woven narrative and tell a different story. Searching through the eyes of “The Gathering Girl,” Amanda Irene Rush discovers an alternate truth buried within the deepest roots of her family tree. She demonstrates how the untangling of a twisted past can be both beautiful and brutal, and how the journey can ultimately lead to forgiveness.

SPOTLIGHT: A Beginning, No Middle, and an End by G. Eric Francis

What was once a planet of 196 governments has been reduced to 1, governed by an expanded United Nations.  While some rights have been taken away, most people on the planet have never had more freedoms.

One of the most successful men in this new world is JaFrancis Brownell.   A video game and book publisher, he is rich, intelligent, and gay.  At the verge of publishing his 200th title, a friend brings to his attention something from the past that he didn't know existed, forcing him to come face to face with someone he hasn't seen in years...his father, Franklin.  A writer who never made it, he is a bitter and bigoted man nearing the end of his life's journey.  

Angry at his son for not only ignoring his own natural gift for writing, but for his alternative lifestyle as well, the two strong-willed men butt heads.  But an unexpected threat due to JaFrancis' fame brings danger from those who want what he has.  Now both father and son not only face years of hurt feelings, but a clock that will definitely strike midnight for one of them...but not in a way either one expected.

Paperback, 122 pages
Published August 7th 2014 by Createspace
ISBN 1500586242 (ISBN13: 9781500586249)

A Beginning, No Middle, and an End by G. Eric Francis is available now through Amazon

SPOTLIGHT: Deathbed Dimes by Naomi Elena Zener

Deathbed Dimes by Naomi Elena Zener

Deathbed Dimes exposes the reality that if you can outlive your relatives, friends and sometimes even strangers, your odds of hitting the inheritance jackpot are better than playing the lottery! Joely Zeller is a beautiful and ambitious 32 year-old attorney and only daughter of Hollywood film royalty, who is determined to build a successful career, find love and marriage without their help. To emerge from under her parents’ cloud of notoriety, Joely fled to New York upon graduation from Stanford Law School to practice Estates and Trust law at a blue chip Wall Street law firm. Over the next eight years she endured ninety-hour work weeks and sacrificed her love life (jilted by her fiancé for his best man) only to have her career efforts foiled by her male and incredibly incompetent counterpart. A serendipitous encounter with a former professor reminds her that with the impending inevitable demise of aging baby boomers, an unprecedented wealth transfer would take place, making Joely realize that with her experience, Hollywood connections, she could start her own law firm back in L.A. With her two best friends and former law classmates, as her partners in her new L.A. law firm, Joely sets about helping the recently disowned, dispossessed and penniless sharpen their claws as they stake their claim to the fortune of the dearly departed.

“Deathbed Dimes is a sassy and energetic novel about women making the best out of the worst. With Naomi Zener’s  satirical edge, even “rock bottom” is hilarious. Readers are bound  to have fun watching Joely as she claws her way back to the top. (Go, Joely!)” Angie Abdou, CBC Canada Reads 2011 finalist and author of Anything Boys Can Do, The Canterbury Trail and The Bone Cage.

“This book is an hilarious, incredibly well-written, shrewd insider’s look at the zeitgeist of greed predominating battles people fight to inherit wealth. Reminding me of Nora Ephron’s quick wit, this contemporary story’s humour, married with intrigue and its relatable characters, had me in their grasp from page one and I couldn’t put it down.” Rebecca Eckler, author of How To Raise A Boyfriend and The Mommy Mob.

“Deathbed Dimes is a funny, acerbic, and raucous read written by someone who clearly knows the world she’s so vividly created.” Terry Fallis, author of Best Laid Plans (winner of the Stephen Leacock Award), Up and Down and No Relation.

“Deathbed Dimes is an edgy and witty debut novel – I can’t wait for the sequel.” Paula Froelich, NYT best-selling author of “Mercury in Retrograde” and Editor-in-Chief, Yahoo Travel.

“Deathbed Dimes is a hilariously witty novel that proves you can’t keep a strong woman down. I hope there’s a sequel!” Bunmi Laditan,  author of The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting.

Deathbed Dimes will be released on May 30, 2014.

Author contact information 

WEBSITE:
www.naomielanazener.com

FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/NaomiElanaZener
https://www.facebook.com/SatiricalMama

BLOG:
www.satiricalmama.blogspot.com

TWITTER:
@satiricalmama

PINTEREST:
Naomi Elana Zener

SPOTLIGHT: The Poor Man's Guide to Suicide by Andrew Armacost

Available in May, THE POOR MAN’S GUIDE TO SUICIDE is lyrical black comedy, a literary novel about losing your will to live—and possibly getting it back.

"A beautiful portrait of a decent man at the end of his rope."
--Scott Phillips, award-winning and bestselling author of THE ICE HARVEST

"Funny and well-conceived."
--Dan Fante, author of CHUMP CHANGE and MOOCH

“A somber yet hopeful walk along the ledge.”
--Kirkus

"... a powerful read that will satisfy any who like dark, gritty noir writing ..."
   --D. Donovan, eBook Reviewer, MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW

***Read more about THE POOR MAN'S GUIDE TO SUICIDE today on Goodreads.


More Title Details

• ISBN 9781937327446
• Price $12.95 USD
• Paperback
• Publishing Date: 10 May 2014

SPOTLIGHT: The Idea of Him by Holly Peterson

Have you ever wanted someone, something, so badly to be true that you’d overlook every shred of evidence to the contrary?

Enter Wade Crawford – the dazzling, urbane, hotshot magazine editor of Meter. With gorgeous hazel eyes, strong shoulders, a chiseled face, and long blondish hair, he was everything that Allie ever thought she wanted in a man and a husband. Until she realized he was anything but.

In the fabulous and intrigue-packed new novel from Holly Peterson, the New York Times bestselling author of THE MANNY, THE IDEA OF HIM (William Morrow | April 1, 2014 | Paperback Original | $14.99 | ISBN: 9780062283108) explores the dangers of falling for the idea of a person, and why facing reality is more liberating than we ever dreamed it could be. For anyone who’s let the fear of being alone keep them from seeing who someone really is, THE IDEA OF HIM is an inspiring, action-packed story of what happens when we embrace our own power and allow the truth to finally set us free.

Allie Crawford is a once-aspiring screenwriter turned successful public relations executive, mother of two young children, with a marriage that feels more like a hostessing gig than it does a relationship.  At thirty four, she is at a crossroads. Then she meets a head-turning, traffic-stopping beauty at the bar of the famed New York City Tudor Room. When Allie finds her husband Wade locked in their laundry room with this same stunning blonde, a scandal ensues that flips her life on its head. And when the woman wants to befriend Allie, an old flame calls, and a new guy gets a little too close for comfort, Allie starts to think her marriage is more of a façade than something real. Maybe she’s fallen in love not with Wade—but with the idea of him.

This intriguing blonde is Jackie Malone, a business school student at Wharton who appears unannounced in Allie Crawford’s world with an uncomfortable degree of information about her personal and professional life. Showing up at all the same parties, lunches, and with a seemingly quite intimate relationship with Allie’s husband, Jackie is a feisty, gorgeous, leggy fashionista that just might have the key to Allie’s future. If she can only learn to trust her.

As Allie and Jackie search for truth, they uncover scandals, betrayals, and financial crimes worthy of front page headline news. Swiftly-paced and electrifying, THE IDEA OF HIM follows their fast-growing friendship and the intimate, sexy conversations they have as Allie takes command of her life and learns to live on new terms that are alternately exciting and terrifying.

Set in present-day Manhattan among the city’s established and up-and-coming power brokers, many of them struggling to regain their equilibrium in a post 2008 crash world, all working various angles—legal and not—in an effort to either get ahead or simply keep up. Smack in the middle of New York’s upwardly mobile meritocracy is the hard-working Allie, refusing to let her working-class past cloud her fabulous present. Her story offers a ringside seat at the lunch-time haunts featured in the pages of Vanity Fair, and is a ticket to the exclusive media cocktail parties posted on Guest of a Guest. But as Allie’s world starts closing in on her and she can no longer deny who her husband actually is, she must figure out how to do it all – without him.

THE IDEA OF HIM shows a woman determined to pick herself back up and reclaim her life, even as the fear of being alone threatens to lure her down the wrong path. As Allie struggles to care for her children, tend to her demanding boss, and navigate the high jinx in the psychological and financial game-playing happening all around her, we fall in love with her determination to root out the truth, and in doing so, finally put her own interests and needs front and center. Most of all, we see the power of female friendship as an unlikely ally – in the form of the mysteriously seductive Jackie Malone – helps Allie to finally see the truth about her husband. And it sets them both free.


about the author:

Holly Peterson is the author of the New York Times and international best seller, The Manny. She was a Contributing Editor for Newsweek and editor-at-large for Tina Brown’s Talk magazine. She was also an Emmy Award–winning producer for ABC News for more than a decade, where she cov­ered global politics. Her writing has been published in the New York Times, Newsweek, Talk, the Daily Beast, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and other publications.

Online: www.HollyPeterson.com

www.Facebook.com/HollyPetersonny

Twitter: @HollyPetersonNY

PRAISE FOR

THE IDEA OF HIM

BY HOLLY PETERSON

“THE IDEA OF HIM is a coming-of-age book for grownups. It's fast-paced and intriguing, glamorous and real -- not only a great, great read but a tutorial in how to be your own best friend.”

—Elin Hilderbrand, author of BEAUTIFUL DAY

“Holly Peterson has written a gripping, sophisticated story of high life suspense that kept me riveted till I’d finished. THE IDEA OF HIM is hugely enjoyable and vividly satisfying.” —Tina Brown of Tina Brown Live Media

“Holly Peterson’s THE IDEA OF HIM is the perfect novel if you want to plunge into great dialogue, a twisting and unexpected plot, shady Wall Street schemes, betrayal, girlfriends… and sex.  It is unputdownable.”  —Lesley Stahl, CBS News 60 Minutes Anchor

“THE IDEA OF HIM takes off like a rocket and doesn’t stop until the last page. In this day and age where we are all so distracted, I relished a book that held my attention with laser focus on sexy topics that we all relate to: why we obsess over love, why we can’t leave when we should, and how we find our strength through friendship and characters we can’t help but adore.” —Katie Lee, TV Host, The Kitchen and Author of GROUNDSWELL

“THE IDEA OF HIM is a deeply intriguing book filled with hilarious social satire and sexy longing. This book explores falling in love with the idea of someone rather than the person themselves…and how we cope with reality once we wake up!”  —Kelly Bensimon, Author and TV Personality

Stay tuned tomorrow for an excerpt from the book!

SPOTLIGHT and EXCERPT: The Cuckoos of Batch Magna by Peter Maughan

Author Peter Maughan contacted me about reviewing his book. Unfortunately I couldn't take it on right now, but I offered to spotlight his book to get it some much-deserved exposure.

To give you an introduction to this charmingly told story, here is an excerpt for your enjoyment...

THE CUCKOOS OF BATCH MAGNA

by Peter Maughan

When the Sir Humphrey Strange, squire of of Batch Magna, a village on the Welsh borders, dies, the title and what’s left of his estate passes, through the law of entailment, to a distance relative. And Humph, a short-order cook from the Bronx, finds himself most remarkably to be the 9th baronet. He has big plans for the place and they do not include the houseboat tenants on the estate’s stretch of the river. Eviction notices are sent out. In this chapter Phineas Cook, off the Cluny Belle, hurries with his notice round to the Commander and his wife Priny on the Batch Castle.

Chapter Four

Phineas walked along Upper Ham, and through the door of what was once the ticket office and waiting room of the Cluny Steamboat Company, to reach the Batch Castle, and out onto the landing stage, all now part of the paddler’s plot and moorings.

Both the building and landing stage looked much as they did in the  photographs on a wall in the lounge bar of the Steamer Inn. There was a wooden triangular pediment still under the eaves, like that of an old branch line station, hanging baskets of geraniums, hollyhocks and foxgloves in the beds, and begonias blooming in the fire buckets. And a Victorian lamp-post that had once flared in the river mists, a yellow rambler climbing still up one side of the office door, and crimson roses under the windows, the heated air velvet with their scent.

Phineas found the Commander standing at the starboard rail of the boat, bracing himself on his good leg, a pair of marine binoculars trained steadily on the wooded hills on the other side of the valley, as if watching for the smoke of the enemy.

He lowered the glasses when Phineas came up the gangway, and wiped at the sweat on his brow with the back of his hand.

“A buzzard,” he said. “Hear it whistling? There’s a nest up there somewhere. I love to see them soar, riding the sky, so effortlessly. And so free. I shall reserve a second life, after first returning as an otter, and come back as a buzzard.”

He glanced at the letter Phineas was holding, the white envelope red-franked with the name of a firm of Kingham solicitors. “Ah, I see you received the same signal, my boy.”

“So it’s not just me?” Phineas said, stuffing the letter into his shirt pocket. The Commander smiled. “No, old chap, it’s not just you. Ours came in the same post. As did one for the Owens. And presumably Jasmine’s been paid off as well.”

“A hell of a blow!” Phineas said, and looked at the Commander as if waiting to be told otherwise.

The Commander nodded solemnly. “As you say.”

“And completely out of the blue.”

“Oh, completely,” the Commander agreed.

“Jasmine’s not there, by the way. Or at any rate her car isn’t. I was going to give her a shout.”

The Commander motioned towards the living quarters. “The First Lieutenant,” he said, meaning his wife, “is in there now, ringing both you and Jasmine. Annie’s with her.” When storm threatened, those on the river tended to turn for the lee of the Castle.

“And you’ve been given the same notice on your moorings?” Phineas asked.

The Commander nodded. “Three months.” He and his wife, Priny, were the only ones to own their boat, buying it out of what was left of a venture farming edible snails in Cornwall, something else which had ended in a lively exchange of letters with the bank. “They don’t say what they’ll do if we haven’t moved by then. Sink us, I suppose.”

“Well, at least he’s given us good notice. Two months more than he was legally obliged to. Which is decent of him.” Phineas thought again. “Or is it?” he asked himself suspiciously, seeing that it involved business and lawyers.

He decided it wasn’t. “He’s probably got his own timetable. Besides,” he added indignantly, “the estate owes the Owens a bit more than that. A damn sight more than that!”

“Oh, I quite agree. I quite agree,” the Commander said, peering at his wrist watch.

“And what about you, James, you and Priny? What will you do?”

“Emm? Oh, well, we’ll have to sell her back to the estate – always providing of course that they want her back. Or we could arrange a tow – if, that is, we can find somewhere to tow her to. And if, that is, we had something to steer her with. The old duck certainly couldn’t go anywhere without a push of some kind.” He looked at Phineas, as if Phineas had suggested she might. “There’s not enough of her plumbing left for anything else.” The Castle was also the only one of the paddlers to still have the remains of an engine.

“Although I’d dearly love to be able to do that for her. To take her out as she arrived …. To put a fire in her again … smoke and steam in the air… her wheels churning the water white round Snails Eye .…”

The Commander’s good eye was distant and full of it.

Then he remembered Phineas. “And what about you, Phineas? What will you do, my boy? What are your plans? Will you stay here? Move on? Have you given it any thought at all yet?” he demanded anxiously, making up for it with a flurry of concern for his friend.

“No – I don’t know, James. I don’t think I’ll stay. Not now. I mean, it won’t be the same, will it?”

“No, old man, it won’t be the same. Not the same thing at all.”

“And what about Annie and Owain? And after all this time.”

“It’s an outrage. No other word for it.”

“And Jasmine and her family,” Phineas went on. “Where will Jasmine go, with … with all those children of hers?” he said vaguely, never sure, like most people, like Jasmine herself seemed not to be sometimes, quite how many that meant.

“As you say. As you so rightly say, my dear chap. Where will they go? Where will they go? It’s appalling, appalling.”

“And what’s he going to do with the paddlers, that’s what I’d like to know? The notice doesn’t tell us much, does it? Just that he wants vacant possession. So what is he going to do with them?”

“What indeed. What indeed, my boy. That’s the question,” the Commander said, frowning about him. “That is the question …”

He found his stick on the deck table, a heavy blackthorn, cut and shaped for him by Owain Owen, the handle, with a shine stroked into it from use, carved into a badger’s head. He then fished about in his trouser pockets, searching for his fob, before remembering that he was using his wrist watch this morning. Life had suddenly become rather hectic.

“What indeed. What indeed, my dear fellow,” the Commander muttered, studying the watch face.

“That’s it!” he said then. “Wardroom’s open.”

He was wearing a pair of creased white ducks, with a Royal Yacht Squadron necktie for a belt, and what was left of his hair sticking out in the heat in damp, greying, tufts. He had his head to one side slightly, favouring his good eye. Phineas peered at the glass one.

The Commander’s leg had been shattered when, as a wartime naval pilot on the deck of his carrier, a Swordfish aircraft, coming in after him, and with the pilot wounded, had landed nose down, shredding the air with splinters from the wooden propellers. When the same accident later caused him to have an eye removed, the Commander commissioned a miniaturist to paint a collection of plain glass ones, depicting naval battles and landscapes that spoke of England, and one flying the Union Jack when a bit of swank, a bit of defiance, in the face of whatever was called for.

“The Stubbs,” the Commander told him. “Huntsman and Horse.”

“Ah,” Phineas said.

Phineas followed his friend up the steps to the wardroom, a room stuffed with books and bottles, and copies of ancient charts, like storybook charts, marked with brimming treasure chests and spouting whales, and warnings of monsters, and cherubs with winds on their breath. Here, the Commander pursued his theories of such things as time, and of moons that had shone down on this planet before, and monsters that still lived here, and the location of lost Atlantis.

Carrying their drinks, they came out into the dazzle of sunlight and white-painted upperworks as Priny and Annie Owen left the sitting room opposite.

“Ah, there you are, darling,” Priny said when she saw Phineas. “Jasmine’s not here,” she added to her husband. “She’s gone to Shrewsbury for the day, the babysitter tells me.” She smiled at Phineas.

“What is it about your legs, Phineas, that reminds me I was once a mother?”

Phineas frowned down at his legs, in a pair of white shorts. Annie laughed. “It’s because they need fattening, like the rest of him.”

“I was hoping,” Phineas said, “they’d look less sort of obvious, once they got a bit brown again.”

“Leave the man’s legs alone. He’s got a perfectly good pair,” the Commander said. “The sort of knees that helped carve out an empire. His shorts could do with a press, and his hair’s too long, I grant you. And he needs to straighten up a bit, stop slopping about the place. But his legs will do.”

“At least he’s got the sense to wear a hat in this heat,” Priny told him.

“Put yours on, James, please. You’ll boil your head.”

The Commander had caught the sun on a trip yesterday in their mahogany dinghy, pulling strongly upriver, with a lunch hamper in the stern. His leg, which rarely failed to let him know it was there when on land, forgotten.

“I can’t, Number One, you’ve hidden it. She’s always hiding things,” he told Phineas.

“Something to do with her age, I expect.”

“Where’s Owain?” Phineas asked, while Priny located the ancient red-and-white striped rowing cap her husband had left on a deckchair.

“Helping out on a pigeon shoot over at Boden,” Annie said. She smiled sympathetically at him. “You’ve got notice as well, then, Phineas?”

Phineas nodded. “Yes. He hasn’t wasted much time, has he? And to not say anything to you when he was here!” He shook his head. “Incredible.”

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t know it at the time, Phineas. He couldn’t have.” Annie looked appalled at the thought.

“He’s a businessman, Annie. A money man. To them, people go in one drawer, profit in another. And they never confuse the two.”

Annie had met the American at the Hall when he was over briefly to inspect his inheritance, and had liked him, as he had seemed to like her. She hoped he hadn’t known that one of the houseboats was hers, that with a few impersonal words that weren’t even his own, he was pulling over twenty years of family memories up by the roots.

“And Owain doesn’t know about it yet?” Phineas said.

She shook her head. “No. No, none of them do. Not yet.”

He saw she had been crying, the kohl she wore on her eyes smudged, and never very good at that sort of thing, made an awkward job of hugging her.

“Drinks!” Priny said brightly, looking at their glasses. “What a good idea.”

“Where’s Pink Gin?” Phineas asked when they were seated. Pink Gin was the
Cunninghams’ aged mongrel, a dog who, when the drinks came out, usually liked a drop of something in her bowl.

“Too hot for her, darling,” Priny told him. “She’s getting rather ancient now, I’m afraid.”

“She’s inside,” the Commander said. “Dreaming of past glories. Ratting and rabbiting in her sleep.”

They were sitting at the round white plastic deck table, under a large, Patio Living pink-and-white striped parasol, an oasis of shade and the chime of iced drinks.

Priny lifted her glass. “To survival.”

Like her husband she was good at that. Priny couldn’t be kept down for long, no matter what the weather. Even Hitler, with his promise to bomb Malta to dust, couldn’t do that when she nursed there during the worst of it. Not even the matron of her hospital could do that.

She was wearing a wide-brimmed sugar-pink straw hat, and what she called her mad old bag spectacles, emerald green, with two electric-blue butterflies perched on the frames, crimson lipstick to match her nail extensions, a poppy print shirt and floral Capri pants. A party of one in full swing, a Plymouth gin in one hand, a cigarette in an amber holder in the other.

“I’m just surprised the General didn’t do anything about all this in his will, you know?” Annie, who’d been thinking about it, said. “I mean, it’s not just us, is it. It’s the paddlers, and all that. Part of the history of the place, the old CSC. Our old tub was named after his mother.” She shook her head. “Just didn’t think, I suppose. That would be it. Poor old love.”

“It’s this place. We are children here!” Phineas cried suddenly. “Strolling heedlessly along, smelling the flowers and admiring the view. With no thought of what might be on its way round the next bend.”

He shook his head incredulously at the sheer folly of their ways. “Well now it’s here,” he said, looking at them accusingly. “Now it has found us.”

Phineas’s newfound maturity, worn over the past few days with a solemn, aloof sort of air, like that of a visitor from an enclosed order to the frivolous world he’d left behind, was now less in evidence. His expression, as he gazed hotly out across the water, more that of an aggrieved teenager who had done what he’d been told to do, had taken a more mature, a more serious, responsible view of things, and had ended up getting evicted.

“Bound to happen sooner or later, I suppose,” the Commander said equably, tamping his pipe down. “It’s the times, my boy, the times. O tempora o mores. The new order. It goes under different names but always calls itself progress, and we are in its way. And the last sad squires ride slowly towards the sea, and the new lords take the land. Lords who look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies. With bright dead alien eyes. Something like that.”

He put his pipe in his mouth, and then took it out again. “Come to think of it, I had a letter from one of them only the other day.”

Priny laughed, the sound pure bottled nightclub. “James thinks the bank manager’s been taken over by an alien.”

“It’s the only possible explanation,” her husband said.

“That’s what happens, darling, when you leave your hat off in the sun.”

The Commander ignored her, and lifted his glass. “Here’s to the General,” he said, and winked mysteriously at Phineas.

Annie laughed then, suddenly, at her own thoughts, and wiped at her nose with a hand.

“He’ll go mad, Owain, when he hears. Go mad, he will. Probably take an axe to the old boat, the work he’s put in on her. He only got round to finishing the paint job a couple of months back, her letters and scrollwork and all. Hopping, he’ll be. Bloody well hopping.”

“Perhaps that’s what we should do to all of them,” the Commander said. “Rather than simply hand them over. Hazard them ourselves. Sink them. Blow them up. Send them to join their sister ship, the Sabrina. Better that than into the hands of the enemy, and God knows what indignities. It could be said we owe them that. Both the little ships and the General.”

The PSSabrina, the old Roman name for the River Severn, and the vessel that had made the full complement of the CSC, had blown a boiler two years into service, when her crew, in an attempt to beat a previous time from Water Lacy, tried to shovel more speed out of her than her maximum eight knots safely allowed. She lay upstream of the Cluny Belle now, a diving board for generations of village children, and with moorhens nesting in her broken
wheels.

“What, a few limpet mines on their hulls, you mean, James?” Phineas asked with interest, remembering a film he’d seen recently on television.

The Commander shook his head. “No. No need for that, old man. A few sticks of something in the bilges should do it. Linked to a central detonator.”

“A plunger. Yes, yes, I know,” Phineas said, nodding at it.

“Then bang!”

The Commander leaned towards him. “And we’re far enough away from the village not to cause civilian casualties or to take the Masters’ Cottages or the pub up with them. The General wouldn’t want any of that. No, it would just be our party. Us and a plunger. Bang!” he said again, the huntsman’s pink in the Stubbs like blood in his eye, the good one with enough blue life in it for two eyes, twinkling away, signalling devilment like a ship’s lamp.

“At night, of course?” Phineas said. These things were always done at night.

“Well, of course at night, old chap. Not a lot of point in fireworks during the day now, is there.”

The Commander’s head reared up at a sudden thought. “Of course! The very thing. The very time. On the day of the Regatta. A grand finale to the fireworks. It could scarcely be more appropriate. The little ships started the whole thing, let them finish it. Let them have the last, loud word. Eh? Bang …!”

“I think,” Priny put in, “that perhaps we should try something a little less explosive first, darling.” She could never be entirely sure with either of them. There was a part of her husband, she always felt, that had yet to return from the war. And Phineas, despite being in his middle thirties, had still to grow up. “And do bear in mind, James,” she told him, just in case, “if you are inclined to get any silly ideas, that the Castle is all we have in the bank at present.”

The Commander sighed heavily. “Yes, I know, Number One, I know. I’m sorry, Phineas, old man. It’s age. It makes misers of us,” he said dolefully.

“Counting out our lives in small change from a thinning purse.”

Priny ignored it. “We’ll meet tonight. In the pub for the happy hour, and see what we can come up with. Jasmine should be back by then. I’ll pop round and leave a note for her, in case we miss her, and she throws a drama.”

Annie finished her wine. “And I’ll get over to the Hall now, see what else I can find out.”

“What shall I do?” Phineas wanted to know.

“I’ve got you down for keeping an old party company over another glass in the wardroom,” the Commander told him, getting up stiffly with the aid of his stick.

“It’s not over yet, Phineas my boy. Not over yet, my dear fellow,” he said then, quietly,confidingly. “Did I tell you that a few days back I saw an otter? No, not a mink,” he insisted, as if Phineas was about to suggest it might be. “A mink is much smaller and a darker brown.

No, it was an otter. On Snails Eye. Disporting itself on a bank there. Sliding down a mud run and splashing away without a care in the world. A lord of time, with a fine set of whiskers.” The Commander stopped and looked at him.

“Time for animals like the otter, you see, Phineas, is different from, for example, time for a farm animal. On the whole, time for farm animals stands still, scarcely moves from where they’re grazing. If we were able to represent it on a clock face, you would see that in the evening, when it’s time to sleep, the minute hand had barely moved from where it was in the morning, when it was time to start eating. Which of course is how it should be.”

The Commander started and stopped again.

“Time for wild animals, on the other hand, you see, my boy, is almost constantly on the go. Here and there, this way and that. It leads them by the nose, as well as the belly. And when they’re not questing or eating, or engaged in sundry other matters, then they’re squabbling. And when they’re doing none of those things, they are playing. And then they are lordly, lordly. Time for us, Phineas, we humans, is a poor shackled thing in comparison. We are tied to it from birth, and burdened with its future as well as its past. The baggage of our lives, and our fears of what might be. And the usual spree of youth aside, we spend it with one eye on the clock. Unlike animals such as the otter, who chuck it about as if there were no tomorrow. Which of course, for them, there isn’t. They live only in the present. They cannot know time and so are free of it. And lords of it. With fields of time, seas and rivers of time, and all the skies to play in.”

The Commander shook his head with sudden impatience. “Anyway, anyway,” he said, moving again, and as if Phineas had diverted him. “The point is – the point is, my dear Phineas, that I have never, in all my ten years on this river, seen an otter here before. Never.”

He stopped again, and sighted Phineas with his good eye. “You do realise what this means, don’t you?” he said. “It means, it means, old chap,” he explained patiently, when Phineas appeared to have no idea, “that the General is once more among us. And why? That’s the question, Phineas. That is the question, my dear old fellow. Why? Why now of all times?” the Commander asked, and winked.

You can get your copy of The Cuckoos of Batch Magna by Peter Maughan now!

Introducing... Not Famous Anymore by Michael Loyd Gray

Most of us dream of having the life of a movie star: the wealth, the fame, the adoration. One can even argue that it is the quintessential embodiment of the American Dream. But what if you attain that life, only to find that it is not so much the American Dream as a “Waking Dream”-- an unreal and foggy existence that only pulls you farther from yourself? That’s what happens to Elliot Adrian, the “star” of award-winning novelist Michael Loyd Gray’s latest book, Not Famous Anymore.

Movie star Elliott Adrian’s days are a whirlwind of parties, booze, and luxury. The problem is, none of it means anything to him. His outwardly perfect life is really just a prison, and although he cannot see the gilded bars, something deep within him knows he must escape before it kills him. Deciding he doesn’t want to be famous anymore, he disappears from Hollywood and begins working his way back to his hometown in rural Illinois.

In his travels, Elliott meets many people who lead—on the surface—rather unenviable lives: the cab driver, the solitary rancher, the man pouring cheap beer in a small-town dive. But as each experience unfolds, he learns that they are in fact much richer men than he. Imagine his surprise when he tries to buy their friendship; they are not only unimpressed, but almost seem to pity him. Through their kindness, honesty and quiet strength, he learns a most valuable lesson: that giving of yourself is the only real currency.

Not Famous Anymore is a social commentary, not only about the excesses of those living that Hollywood dream, but about everyone who aspires to live it without really understanding what it means. It is about the millions of people who follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter and watch every installment of the Real Housewives. But what makes this book so incredible is that is also about another America, filled with people who don’t care what Kutcher is doing. For these people, living the Dream means a different kind of abundance: nature, family, and the satisfaction of a hard day’s work. It is these people who help guide Elliott home.

Gray is not snubbing his nose at wealth or fame, but simply reminding us of a lesson often forgot: that material success, without direction and substance, can lead to an empty existence of moral decay and spiritual ruin. Ultimately, the book is about turning away from the distractions of our technology- obsessed world and looking inward to find our own truth. Elliott doesn’t check email, tweet or go on Facebook. He doesn’t even use the phone that much. He goes from living under a constant spotlight to living completely under the radar. It is only then that he discovers that underneath all the superficial junk, he is a man with enough character, courage and moxie to face his own demons, and slay them. And that is a lesson we would all do well to learn. To learn more about Michael Loyd Gray’s work, visit http://www.michaelloydgray.com/